1 00:00:00,020 --> 00:00:05,020 2 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:10,020 3 00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:42,020 No way this will work 4 00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:47,020 I will probably end up in your head. Or someone else's legs. 5 00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:51,020 Something always goes wrong. I'm not building my hopes up. 6 00:00:52,020 --> 00:00:54,020 And we begin. 7 00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:59,020 Have you found any dirt on her yet? 8 00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:02,020 -Her character is flawless, sir. -Damn! 9 00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:07,020 And if her character is flawless, that means... 10 00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:10,420 -I know. I'll have to frame her. -No, sir! I mean... 11 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:16,020 Is working. Now if calculation's correct, portal should open now. 12 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,020 It's working! 13 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:37,020 Something is not right. 14 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,520 It's saying we don't exist. How can this be possible? 15 00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:50,020 Taking us to nearest valid reality. Makes no sense. 16 00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:55,020 -What size is this? -This baby is 50 inches of full crotch throbbing pixel power. 17 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,520 -I like it. 18 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,020 -Too big, Is anything for the bedroom? 19 00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:06,020 -I don't know how much long I... -... It's crazy. 20 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:10,020 -What about this one? 21 00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:12,020 -I don't know how much longer.. 22 00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:17,020 Yes, something is real. Send Rimmer to first see it's safe. 23 00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:22,020 -What? -Wait! 24 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:28,020 I said waaaaaaait! 25 00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:34,020 -What was that? 26 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:37,020 -Did you hear something smash? -On TV. 27 00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:50,020 I don't know how much longer (???) 28 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:57,020 -Was it HTV? (???) -Yes, a submersion of HTV. (???) 29 00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:41,020 -Where are we, Kryten? -Well, according to the Psi-scan, sir, we're in a department store in London 30 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:45,020 -...in the early part of the 21st century. -Early part of the 21st... 31 00:03:46,020 --> 00:03:49,020 Isn't that when all the banks went belly up and money became useless? 32 00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:52,620 I've read about that in history. 33 00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:56,420 What a sound system, eh? Sounds like you're in the room, with them. 34 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,020 -Red Dwarf. There's a new series? 35 00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:06,020 I don't really follow it myself. 36 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:09,420 Science-fiction. It's a little bit bollocks really, isn't it? 37 00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:12,820 That Psi-scan thing. Knows everything, doesn't it? 38 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,020 Any bit of exposition, just ask the Psi-scan. 39 00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:20,020 How can it know everything? Talk about rubbish. 40 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:23,020 -Who's he, crack? 41 00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:27,020 Well, according to the Psi-scan, sir, he's a pompous know-all know-nothing idiot called Mike Mellington. 42 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:33,020 -Coincidentally has a very small penis. -How does a Psi-scan know that? 43 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,020 -Well it scanned his e-mail, sir. 44 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:37,020 He's already onto his 4th tub of penis enlargement cream. 45 00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:42,020 Hey buds, the photo's closed. We can't get back! 46 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,020 What do you mean get back? We are back! 47 00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:46,020 This is it. This is home! 48 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:49,020 And we got rid of Kremlin Kate, let's crack open the vodka. 49 00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:56,520 -Is it me or is everyone staring? 50 00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:58,820 Also, they all seem to be in smirk mode, sir. 51 00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:03,020 They're just laughing at your face, Kryten. Nothing to worry about. 52 00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:06,020 Back in the 21st century, they laughed at freaks all the time. 53 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:09,020 They used to have TV shows on saturday night, where they gathered all the freaks, 54 00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:11,020 make them sing and dance, then point and laugh at them. 55 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,020 Simple people, simple tastes. 56 00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:25,620 Hey, Hey! What are these things? 57 00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:27,620 They're digital versatile discs, sir. 58 00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:30,620 DVDs for short. They were very popular at the beginning of 21st century, 59 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:34,620 before they died out and were replaced by what we use now. 60 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,680 -Well, you mean videos. -Precisely. 61 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,680 Back then no one knew, that the human race 62 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,680 were utterly incapable of putting the DVDs back in their cases. 63 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,680 You can see the point. 64 00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,700 Over two trillion went missing in just over 20 years. 65 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:49,020 Videos are just too big to lose. 66 00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:55,690 Sirs, look! 67 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,690 Red Dwarf! This is us! 68 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,720 It's a TV series about us. 69 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,720 It recounts all our adventures. 70 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,720 Every single one of them. 71 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,720 How's this possible? 72 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,720 Wait, we're characters from a TV series 73 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,720 who somehow escaped the TV well into the real world. 74 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,720 That explains why the dimension cutter said our reality wasn't valid. 75 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,720 I'm not real! I'm a character in a TV series. 76 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:23,020 I'm not real? 77 00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:25,020 That explains so much 78 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:28,020 I'm not real either? 79 00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:31,020 Does that mean I'm not really this good looking? 80 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,620 Just typical of my luck, isn't it. 81 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:38,620 Just when things start to right it turns out that I'm... 82 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,620 I'm not real. Fantastic! 83 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:43,620 But now, sirs. We need clear heads and equinimity. 84 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:48,620 Naturally, it's extremely disturbing to discover that we are just characters in a TV series. 85 00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:52,620 And naturally there's going to be a period of climatisation. But it's essential 86 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:56,620 But it's essential that we keep all this in perspective. 87 00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:58,620 We're not real! What are we gonna do? 88 00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:02,620 There! I think that's pretty much put in perspective, don't you think? 89 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:04,620 This is too weird for words. 90 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:07,620 Hey guys, look at this! 91 00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:13,620 Back to Earth. That's the story we're in now. 92 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,620 He's right, look! 93 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,620 There's no disc in it. 94 00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:39,620 Coming soon, it's not out yet. 95 00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:43,620 Back to Earth. Takes place after series X. 96 00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:47,620 Kochanski's dead and the crew are held through a portal 97 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:51,620 to discover they're just characters in a TV series. 98 00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:54,620 Knowing they will die in the final episode 99 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:59,620 -Die? the dwarfs in a best Blade Runner tradition 100 00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:02,620 track down their creators to plead for more life. 101 00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:04,620 How are we gonna do that? 102 00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:07,620 Easy! Hey buds, give us more life, I'm pleading with you! See? 103 00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:12,620 First the crew attempt to track down the actors 104 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:17,620 that play them in the series and their metaphysical odyssey begins. 105 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:22,620 All my life I wanted to go on a metaphysical odyssey! For years! I never thought I'd get the chance! 106 00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:26,620 -So what happens next? -It says it's a three-parter. 107 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:29,620 No, not a three-parter! I hate three-parters! 108 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,620 What if I'm not in that night? 109 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,620 Saying I'm busy. What if? 110 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,620 Oh, tell you what. Toilets here are medieval. 111 00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:48,620 -Bet you felt right at home. 112 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:53,620 There's no toilet paper. They don't use it in these days. 113 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,620 -Like I said, they were simple people. 114 00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:58,620 -They eat spam. -I mean there I am - in the cubicle, no paper... 115 00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,620 ...wondering what to do. 116 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:04,620 I open the door and see this machine on the wall which blows out hot air. 117 00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,620 Then a twig! 118 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:10,620 -Tell you what, they got a different system here. -Different system? 119 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:13,620 Yeah, well, you gotta wash yourself in the sinks. 120 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,620 And use the air machine to dry your bum. 121 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:20,620 -And that's what you did? -No choice. And those air machines are really hot. 122 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:24,620 It's like you're holding your cheeks apart, 123 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:27,620 jumping up and down trying to catch a breeze. 124 00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:30,620 I'll tell you something, they're not friendly around here. 125 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,620 Trying to start a conversation - not once, no. 126 00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:35,620 Where's Cat and Kryten? 127 00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,620 They went to get some money. Haven't got to be between us. 128 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,620 Money? How they're gonna get money? Some second hand shop. 129 00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:43,620 Kryten's gonna try and pone(?) his head. 130 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:45,620 -And what about seeing? 131 00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:48,620 He can use his spare set of eyes. Hanging out of his neckhole. 132 00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:51,120 Well that's a good look, isn't it? That's not gonna stand out at all! 133 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,920 -Hey! -Any luck? 134 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,920 They thought we were from a hidden camera show, sir! 135 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,920 and wouldn't take us seriously. 136 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,920 We even offered to throw in one of his legs. Still no deal. 137 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,920 How are we gonna trace our creators? We ain't got no wheels, ain't got no do. 138 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,920 Money. I know how we can get money. 139 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,920 How much we got? 140 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,920 We've got 15 combs, 2 mobile phones, 3 packets of gum, 141 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,920 2 condoms, 2 pairs of reading glasses and 19 pieces of popcorn. 142 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,920 I'm expecting to pull out Glenn Miller or Shurgar(?) anytime. 143 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,920 -What about the money? 144 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,920 So far we got 19 pounds and 43 pence. 145 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,920 -Now what? 146 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,920 Well, according to this, we get on the tube and we go to a science fiction club called 147 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,920 They walk among us. 148 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,920 This is too weird for words. 149 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,920 Hey buds, check this! 150 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,920 Look, that's me! 151 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,920 Look at that! And that! 152 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:45,620 -Listening to music? -No. Why? 153 00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:50,620 I was just wondering if you could help us. 154 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:54,620 We're trying to find the guys involved in the making of the TV series called Red Dwarf. 155 00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:59,620 We're trying to find out if our show, well, this is weird - we're not the actors. 156 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,620 We're the real characters. 157 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,620 There was this kinda dimension thing.. 158 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,620 Dimension skid, was it? 159 00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:11,620 Happens a lot this time of year. 160 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:14,620 One minute you're fine, the next... 161 00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,620 ...you're in a new dimension. 162 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,620 Gotta be so careful. 163 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:22,620 Thank god for that. He's insane. 164 00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:26,620 So you have to have the cast info? 165 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,620 We need some advice. 166 00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:31,620 I can't give you any numbers, but I know a man who can. 167 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,620 El presidente of the Red Dwarf Fanclub. 168 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,620 There's nothing that guy doesn't know about the small rouge one. 169 00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,620 We've got a fan club? 170 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:43,620 You've just got taken over. Bit of a fanatic. Changes his name to Red Dwarf. 171 00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:45,620 People have to call him Mr. Warf. 172 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,620 His sitting room looks just like your sleeping quarters. 173 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,620 Got an H tattooed on his head. 174 00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:54,620 It's not like us, he's a bit weird. 175 00:12:55,620 --> 00:12:57,620 Redge, dude. It's N... here. 176 00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:01,620 Sorry to interrupt the Warhammer, mate. 177 00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:04,620 Guess who I've got standing in my shop. 178 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,620 Go on, guess! No! 179 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:15,620 No! No! No! Oh? No! No! 180 00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:24,620 Should I tell you? No. No. Should I tell you? 181 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,620 I'm gonna tell you anyway. 182 00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:31,620 I've got standing in my shop the real actual crew from Red Dwarf. 183 00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,620 Had a bit of a dimension skid. 184 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,620 Yeah, that's what I said. 185 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:40,620 Well, they're trying to find out how many shows they've got left. 186 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:44,620 Exactly. Need some numbers, know you've got 'em. 187 00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:48,620 What? Why? 188 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,620 Can't give out cast info. Space code directive 596. 189 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,620 596? 190 00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:58,120 Love it, when he does this and gets it all wrong. 191 00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:05,220 596? Spacecode superchimps before made active decency in zero gravity will lose all banana privileges 192 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:09,220 No, Sir. The crew's files are for the captain only. 193 00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:13,220 So we're smegged. 194 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:18,220 -What's that? -That's Dave Lister's bath from season IX. 195 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:22,220 Best season ever if you ask me. Awesome season. Best by miles. 196 00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:29,220 You were in that, remember, when Kryten ran in and told you that Kochanski had been sucked out of an air lock. 197 00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,220 Fish scale? 198 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,220 Not fish! 199 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,220 Could be a bit of poppadom. 200 00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:39,220 Who doesn't need a curry in the bath? 201 00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:43,220 Maybe it's artificial snake scale from the one Polymorph turned into. 202 00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:45,220 Kryten? 203 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:48,220 It's got a licence number and a props maker's name - Swallow. 204 00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:51,220 I've seen that name here. 205 00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:54,220 Hey, here it is. 206 00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:58,220 Swallow and Cast, waiting for taxis fan convention 2009 207 00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:05,220 Kryten, scan the photo and beam it onto that TV. 208 00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:12,220 Uncrop. Wait, what's that? 209 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:16,220 -Frame left. That card. Zoom in. -Swallow. Pick up. 3 o'clock. 210 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:19,220 Must be his taxi. Bet the address is on the other side. 211 00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:24,220 Pull out. Stop. Wait. I've got an idea. Track in. Stop. Enhance reflection. 212 00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:29,220 Need another reflective surface to get back across the street. 213 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:34,220 Zoom in. Pan right. See if there are any waterdrops on that lamp post. 214 00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:38,220 Got one. Thanks, fighto. Zoom 80. 215 00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:41,220 Enhance reflection. Stop. Rotate 170 216 00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:45,220 -Zoom 220. -What's that? 217 00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:49,220 Flop. That's the taxi driver. There's the business card. 218 00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:53,220 Zoom 260. Rotate 90 degrees. 219 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:57,220 Track in! Swallow's business address. 220 00:15:57,220 --> 00:16:00,220 Oh sir, wouldn't it have been quicker to look him up in the phonebook? 221 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:05,220 Print me a 4 by 6 and any more remarks like that I'll ask for an A3 out of your waste disposal. 222 00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:10,220 Makes latex masks for the film and TV industry. Specializing in noses. 223 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,220 Maybe if we track him down he'll point us in the right direction. 224 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:17,220 But sir, how are we gonna get there? That's over 30 miles away. 225 00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:22,220 -I know. Hollyhop drive. -Back on Red Dwarf. 226 00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:26,220 -Metapuddle. -Back on Red Dwarf. 227 00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:31,220 Time slides, when you walk into a photograph and... -Back on Red Dwarf. 228 00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:35,220 -Got it! Beam there! -That's Star Trek, not us! We don't do that, sir. 229 00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:40,220 All right, if you've got no teleportation systems or any material reassemblers, 230 00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:44,220 no option's left - you have to catch the bus. 231 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,220 Neurotic? I'm not neurotic! 232 00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:50,220 I've never been neurotic! Neurotic? Neurotic? 233 00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:53,220 Are they insane? Who writes this stuff? 234 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,220 I wasn't even neurotic when I was a kid. 235 00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:58,220 Didn't have time, I was too busy washing my hands 236 00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:07,220 Hilarious. In what way am I hilarious? 237 00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:10,220 Name one way in which I'm hilarious. Just one, one way. 238 00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:14,220 Well you're pompous without reason, sir, and you have hilariously unrealistic life goals. 239 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:17,220 Well, I'm lord of the star fleet, Kryten and you'll pay for that remark. 240 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:20,220 Four for Blabla Street, bla bla please. 241 00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:26,220 Hilariously unrealistic life goals. That's true. That's so true. That's funny. 242 00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:28,220 Where's first class? 243 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,220 It's all first class, mate! 244 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,220 Excellent! 245 00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:34,220 Looking forward to the complimenatary champagne and little towels. 246 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:39,220 Look, let's split up, so we don't look conspicuous, yeah? 247 00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:47,220 The actress who plays her. 248 00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:49,220 Of course. 249 00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:54,220 She's alive in this dimension, isn't she? 250 00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:08,220 -You are Dave Lister, aren't you? -Yeah. How do you know? 251 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,220 We watch you with dad on Dave. 252 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,220 Dave? 253 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:17,220 A TV channel. What's it like, having a whole TV channel named after you? 254 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:20,220 -You're pretty cool. 255 00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:22,220 Cool? 256 00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:26,220 -You don't take any smeg, that's cool. -And even though you're disgusting, 257 00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:28,220 sometimes you're quite brave. 258 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:35,220 Are you sad about Kochanski? 259 00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:41,220 We were sad too. So is dad. 260 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,220 Then we worked it out. 261 00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:45,220 What? What out? 262 00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:47,220 She is not really dead. 263 00:18:47,220 --> 00:18:51,220 Kryten was the only one to see her die, right? See her get sucked out the air lock. 264 00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:53,220 -But she didn't. -She didn't? 265 00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:58,220 -Kryten made it up. -Why would he do that? 266 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:02,220 -You were a mess, falling apart. -Drinking, being deaf(?). 267 00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:06,220 -She couldn't bear to stand and watch you die. And you wouldn't listen. 268 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:08,220 So she took the blue midget and acted it. 269 00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:10,220 Why would Kryten lie to me? 270 00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:13,220 She was only trying to save your feelings. 271 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:17,220 So you wouldn't feel like a big fat loser. You've been dumped. 272 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:23,220 I was dumped once. It was really horrible. 273 00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:27,220 Dumped? 274 00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:30,220 But that would mean, that would mean she was still alive. 275 00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:34,220 She is still alive, I bet you! 276 00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:38,220 She's really good at guessing stuff. That DVD - Titanic 277 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,220 she knew that ship would sink right from the start. 278 00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:45,220 She could tell. Even in that bible film. 279 00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:50,220 She said: Jesus - he's not dead. I bet ya. 280 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,220 In next series, try and find her! 281 00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:56,220 -Get her back. -Kiss her! I know I would. 282 00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:59,220 There isn't gonna be a next series. 283 00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:01,220 I'm a fictional character. 284 00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:03,220 I don't exist. 285 00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:08,220 -I think you exist. -And I do too. 286 00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:10,220 Hey, our stop! 287 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:12,220 Just smeg it! 288 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:24,220 You think you outsmart me, yes? But you don't. I here. 289 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,220 Cut a second hole. 290 00:20:26,220 --> 00:20:29,220 Science officer. Excellent. So pleased you've caught up with us. 291 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:35,220 You gave me slip, I know. You not want be erased, but you won't defeat me. I too smart. 292 00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:39,220 Erase me? I thought it was murder to kill a hologram. 293 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:42,220 No. Hologram already dead. 294 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:45,220 Morally, ethically, hologram killing fine. 295 00:20:46,220 --> 00:20:48,220 Fair enough. 296 00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:55,220 Come on. We haven't got all day. 297 00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:58,220 She didn't see that coming, did she? I did. 298 00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:01,220 Man, this is too weird for words. 299 00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:06,220 Nose world. Here it is. Maker of latex masks for TV industry 300 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:12,220 specializing in noses. I didn't know I could read chinese. 301 00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:15,220 You really think this guy will be able to help? 302 00:21:15,220 --> 00:21:18,220 He worked on a TV show, we're all fictional characters and 303 00:21:18,220 --> 00:21:20,220 he's got to know the address of our creator 304 00:21:20,220 --> 00:21:22,220 What if he doesn't? 305 00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:24,220 Well, at least we're here to pick up a spare nose. 306 00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:41,220 Hey! That's my coat! 307 00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:44,220 Give me that! Where'd you get my coat? 308 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:47,220 I get from Red Dwarf costume department. 309 00:21:47,220 --> 00:21:50,220 End of series night. 310 00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:52,220 I stole many things, sell on eBay. 311 00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:57,220 I even stole a car, from Red Dwarf fan club president. 312 00:21:58,220 --> 00:22:01,220 Why are you here? 313 00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:05,220 Illogical. You should be inside TV. 314 00:22:05,220 --> 00:22:07,220 Questions need answers. 315 00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:10,220 How many episodes have we got left? 316 00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:12,220 Is it true we're going to die? 317 00:22:12,220 --> 00:22:14,220 I don't know that stuff. 318 00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:16,220 I just do noses. 319 00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:18,220 -Latex. -Who does know? 320 00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:24,220 Big boss. He know everything. 321 00:22:24,220 --> 00:22:28,220 He pick your nose, he pick your brain. He pick your brain too. 322 00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:32,220 It was a Friday. 323 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:34,220 How do we get to see him? 324 00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:36,220 I know man who know where. 325 00:22:36,220 --> 00:22:41,220 He know where boss. He know address. 326 00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:46,220 So cold! 327 00:22:46,220 --> 00:22:49,220 You said before you stole a car. 328 00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:51,220 Red Dwarf fan club president car. 329 00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:55,220 You want to borrow? 330 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:58,220 All legal. 331 00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:15,220 You can't be serious. 332 00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:17,220 We're not driving this! 333 00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:20,220 Sirs, we'll be a laughing stock. 334 00:23:22,220 --> 00:23:26,220 Well, beggers can't be choosers.